Slow Living and How I Spend my Days

My days are slow. 

Simply me in my own pace and space

Mayhap even slower than I wish for them to be. Yet also rapid, for without even proceeding onto my attempts of being productive, the night already has settled in. I do not know where this urge to produce something comes from: Is it a society constructed objective, rooted in materialism? Or is it because I always feel inspired to create yet cannot find the strength to do so? Or that I want validation for my efforts? I reckon it is a mixture of these three but there may be some other underlying conditions. Nonetheless, I desperately try to offer something of worth and most of the attempts are in vain. This is the deep murky cave from which one of my deepest concerns radiate.

Real talk time, I bid you welcome to my stream of consciousness! Kind of... 

The other problem lies in socialization for me. As someone on the autism spectrum, I have always had difficulties in such fields but through the years, I have learned to cope, to mask and to conceal, not feel. *dramatic Elsa walking* Nevertheless, I struggle. In these times of hardship and in quarantine, I seek company even more, funny when you consider the fact that I am an introvert. I have been so alone in my life that such contradictions tend to occur, if you would think of them as contradictions. 

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This was where I last left writing the blogpost, and frankly, it has been too long since I updated this post. We shall change that, shall we not?

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How I spend my quarantine:

1) fashion

I sometimes endeavor to dress up and feel a wee bit fancier. I already have problems with my self esteem and looks, as I seek validation from others that I am beautiful or at least okay looking though it rarely ever happens. Therefore, glamouring myself up sometimes helps. I tend to wear airy, cotton pieces and I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE POLYESTER!! *rage attack* The colours tend to vary from pastels to whites and creams, though usually always bright and light.

2) food

I am usually on sweets these days, oh noes. I also gained a bit of weight, the sacrifices we do for pleasure induced by fooooood. Crumble desserts, crepes, vanilla iced lattes... Living the dream! (not) 

When I am stressed and low on mood (quite often is this situation to be frank), I seek comfort in beloved darling food. ‘Tis the same case for this quarantine period, insert the shrug emoji here please. 

3) friends

I do not have many friends and especially during this dark period, having remarkably and unfortunately no one to hang out with is a tad bit more saddening than usual. Thankfully, I have my fur monsters: Miyak the stray cat who turned to be more princess-like as she found love and shelter in our arms (pictured on the left) and Eluvian / Mimi who is our wee snowball (on the right) They are the sweetest creatures I have ever seen in my life, and snuggling with them is the best feeling ever. 

4) leasure time

I recently started going out, slowly and steadily, with a mask and protective gear such as my weaponry: Disinfectant liquid and wet alcohol wipes. I would remove my mask when I was alone with my father at some rare but magical foresty areas, and this is where the magic would happen: The enchanting jubilation of phone photo shoots (phonoshoot?) 

    

5) news 

I opened a secondhand shop sorts of an account on Instagram. I still sell on Depop but if you had been eyeing upon my elven pieces for a while, this is time for you to acquire them! @darlinginventory on IG.

 

  

(Have a great day, I hope you liked reading this particular update. Let me know your remarks as you comment below, thank you! )